Red Bull to Pay $13 Million, because it doesn't LITERALLY give people wings

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by CaptainAssassin, Oct 8, 2014.

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  1. CaptainAssassin

    CaptainAssassin Here To Help

    Our legal system is broken. They might consider fixing it— if it wasn't so damn profitable.


    'The plaintiff representing the class, Benjamin Careathers, said he had been drinking Red Bull since 2002 as part of the lawsuit he filed on Jan. 16, 2013 in U.S. District Court of the Southern District of New York. The suit argues that Red Bull misleads consumers about the superiority of its products with its slogan “Red Bull gives you wings” and its claims of increased performance, concentration and reaction speed, to name a few. ( full article on
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2014
  2. liamypoo

    liamypoo Famous

  3. Dhamptastic

    Dhamptastic Here To Help

    I once drank a red bull, and I instantaneously sprouted wings. Which were then ripped off, because I was water skiing and refused to let go.

    They just need to add a *results may vary line to their commercial, to sate the unimaginative.
    SlickPinkwood likes this.
  4. GamerGirl82

    GamerGirl82 Here To Help

    I'd say this person is a total idiot. The fact the JUDGE didn't throw it out cuz its ridiculous says 'you can sue anyone for anything.'
    This reminds me of a Bloom County comic strip where one of the main characters was taken to court over teaching the class 'penguin evolution.' Judge told everyone they were freaking idiots and to get out of his courtroom.
    ilovethisgame likes this.
  5. SomeRandomGuy

    SomeRandomGuy Famous

    This reminds me of the putz who sued McDonalds after burning herself when the cup of hot coffee she put between her legs spilled while she was driving. Only this may actually be even dumber.

    There should be an award for that.....the "Dumber than the dipshit that sued McDonalds over burning herself with hot coffee" award. Sorta like a Darwin award, but they live to tell about it.
    ilovethisgame and SlickPinkwood like this.
  6. WhisperFire26

    WhisperFire26 Here To Help

    Remember those lawsuits against McDonald's for no labeling their coffee cups with a warning label for it being hot or it made them fat?

    What gets me with all of these cases is that there are lawyers out there who actually take on these cases.
    LiNanMian1984 and ilovethisgame like this.
  7. Dhamptastic

    Dhamptastic Here To Help

    Judges tend to allow things to be heard, due to their morbid fascination with how stupid juries can be.

    The biggest shocker is that Red Bull settled out of court.

    Of course, $13 million is to them what two pennies are to me.
    SlickPinkwood likes this.
  8. Dhamptastic

    Dhamptastic Here To Help

    Also, note that it's a Class Action Lawsuit.

    So the guy is only going to get his portion of $13 million split among everyone who has ever bought Red Bull.
    SlickPinkwood and Alchemist like this.
  9. SomeRandomGuy

    SomeRandomGuy Famous

    That should be no surprise, there's far too many lawyers who will stoop to any low just to make a buck. We really need to go back to the way it used to be when lawyers weren't allowed to advertise their services and people had to go to them when there was a legitimate concern, but lobbyists ruined that for all of us and gave rise to the cesspool that our legal system is mired in now.
    SlickPinkwood and ilovethisgame like this.
  10. DEADLY9996

    DEADLY9996 Here To Help

    I've been eating banana's for years, i'm still waiting for the transformation...

  11. Nengtaka

    Nengtaka Here To Help

    I use axe body spray every day, and I don't get mobs of girls coming after me!
    What the fuck, Axe? Lying to your customers like that?
    Brb filing class action lawsuit.
  12. DEADLY9996

    DEADLY9996 Here To Help

    It might work on guys though..

    [​IMG] you do smell good.
  13. Dear Old Spice,
    I've been using your products for over a year now... Why aren't i muscular and have a hatred of wearing shirts?
    SlickPinkwood and XzerothreeX like this.
  14. Kiel555

    Kiel555 Here To Help

    Cute cat.
  15. Alchemist

    Alchemist Here To Help

    I am sorry, but this is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

    Who the fuck picks up a energy drink and literally, honestly thinks, "Oh boy, I hope this gives me wings." What ever happened to COMMON SENSE?

    I am going to sue Almond Joy and Mounds. I expected a beach to pop out, along with the chair and palm trees. Maybe I should sue Undead Labs for not being a actual Zombie Laboratory?

    Shit, I might need to go into the vent thread.
  16. Mad cannibal

    Mad cannibal Here To Help

    Well, you're using it wrong.
    You're also using it wrong.
  17. SomeRandomGuy

    SomeRandomGuy Famous

    It's not about common sense, it's about the morally bankrupt dirtbags infesting our legal system that allows things like this to not only happen, but actually encourages them to happen. People who file ridiculous lawsuits like this know damn well it's frivolous but they've talked to one of the spawned from a cesspit lawyers who make a living from this sort of thing and were convinced they could make a buck off it so they do it.

    It's not the fault of the Judges either because the most fucked up part of cases like this is that legality is on the side of the frivolous losers. The law is black and white, so if there is no disclaimer that your product doesn't ACTUALLY make anyone who drinks it sprout wings, which your advertisements allude to? OOPS! You just gave them the loophole they needed to latch onto your neck and suck out whatever they can get.

    Seriously, anyone who knowingly and willingly participates in things like this need to be permabanned from that "real life" MMO we're all playing.
  18. Then how are we supposed to use it?
    I followed the instructions.
    It said "Remove cap" and then "Push up bottom".

    My farts have never smelt so good.
  19. Mad cannibal

    Mad cannibal Here To Help

  20. Negnar Holf

    Negnar Holf Here To Help

    I chuckled, though!
    SlickPinkwood and ilovethisgame like this.
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